This is a transcript of the worlds dummest hacker on an IRC channel. The original can be found here:
http://www.jellyslab.com/~bteo/hacker.htm
The comments are not mine, they belong to the original poster of the dialogue.
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
|bitchchecker|why do you kick me
|bitchchecker|can't you discuss normally
|bitchchecker|answer!
|elch|we didn't kick you
|elch|you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker
(~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
|bitchchecker|what ping man
|bitchchecker|the timing of my pc is right
|bitchchecker|i even have dst
|bitchchecker|you banned me
|bitchchecker|admit it you son of a bitch
|hopperhunterafk|LOL
|hopperhunterafk|shit you're stupid, DST^^
|bitchchecker|shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
|bitchchecker|for two weaks already
|bitchchecker|when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
|elch|You're a real computer expert
|bitchchecker|shut up i hack you
|elch|ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
|bitchchecker|tell me your network number man then you're dead
|elch|Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
|elch|or maybe 127.0.0.1
|elch|yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
|bitchchecker|in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
|elch|Now I'm frightened
|bitchchecker|shut up you'll be gone
|bitchchecker|i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
|bitchchecker|say goodbye
|elch|to whom?
|bitchchecker|to you man
|bitchchecker|buy buy
|elch|I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.
quote:
*bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
|bitchchecker|dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
|metanot|lol
|elch|bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
|bitchchecker|you're so stupid man
|bitchchecker|say buy buy
|metanot|ah,[Please control your cussing] off
|bitchchecker|buy buy elch
*bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined
#stopHipHop
|bitchchecker|elch you son of a bitch
|metanot|bitchchecker how old are you?
|elch|What's up bitchchecker?
|bitchchecker|you have a fire wal
|bitchchecker|fire wall
|elch|maybe, i don't know
|bitchchecker|i'm 26
|metanot|such behaviour with 26?
|elch|how did you find out that I have a firewall?
|metanot|tststs this is not very nice missy
|bitchchecker|because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
|bitchchecker|be a man turn that shit off
|elch|cool, didn't know this was possible.
|bitchchecker|thn my virus destroys your pc man
|metanot|are you hacking yourselves?
|elch|yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
|metanot|he bitchchecker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
|bitchchecker|yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
|metanot|what firewall do you have?
|bitchchecker|like a girl
|metanot|firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
|he|Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
|bitchchecker|turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
|elch|Noo
|metanot|he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
|bitchchecker|you're afraid
|bitchchecker|i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
|bitchchecker|elch turn off your shit wall!
|metanot|i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
|bitchchecker|shut up
|metanot|lol
|bitchchecker|my grandma surfs with fire wall
|bitchchecker|and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall
He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.
quote:
|elch|bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
|metanot|bitchhacker can't hack
|black| nice play on words ^^
|bitchchecker|wort man
|elch|bitchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
|metanot|how many times again he is no hacker
|bitchchecker|man do you want a virus
|bitchchecker|tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
|metanot|lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
|elch|127.0.0.1
|elch|it's easy
|bitchchecker|lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
|bitchchecker|and are the first files being deleted
|elch|mom...
|elch|i'll take a look
In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?
quote:
|bitchchecker|don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
|elch|that's bad
|bitchchecker|elch you idiot your hard drive g: is deleted
|elch|yes, there's nothing i can do about it
|bitchchecker|and in 20 seconds f: is gone
Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker wascomforting me with a music tip.
quote:
|bitchchecker|tupac rules
|bitchchecker|elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
Drive E:? Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted.... Or isn't it happening on my computer?
quote:
|bitchchecker|and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
|he|why doesn't meta say anything
|elch|he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
|black| ^^
|bitchchecker|your d: is gone
|he|go on BITCH
The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.
quote:
|bitchchecker|elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
|bitchchecker|i'm already at c: 30 percent
Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net)Quit (Ping timeout#)
Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "bitchchecker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.
Hope you enjoyed it !
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